Extra Bundled

I told my self , "you're working towards a goal here Kevin." you're past all the random profanity yelling across the hallways, fun times, but you got to try now. Try to make the best out of each day. I work hard, 89% of the time.But I hate people that are not working. They piss me off, why do THEY get to enjoy their life and still manage decent academics, while I work my ass off. I hate being surrounded by inconsiderate jerks. I know that we've all been told stories or tales of optimism, when I was young , i was told plenty of optimistic things, how that anything we believed we could do, what we could do would work and our abilities will guide us through, how if our mind, and good morals will lead us. But every year that progresses tears that petty belief that optimism will get you through down, and divides it in half. I guess eventually i'll reach the point where I don't believe in optimism, and that'll be the point where that optimistic belief is just an atom. Indivisible no more to me. Or maybe I've already hit the jackpot, I don't see the optimism. I know this is nothing, not much of a challenge I face now, it's only a sneak preview of the hardships in life everybody deals with. Maybe I'm just being too analytical, or maybe I'm the only one that notices, it's lonely in the times you just wonder and wonder. Everybody looks for the driving force to their motivation. Everything has something that keeps them going, I really don't have a goal but I guess it was just gut instinct for me to keep going and don't look back and when you've reached the finish line and decide where you're heading from there. I'm barely boarding my train, and the tunnel doesn't end soon, and oh yes, there will be terrorists along the way. Basically, failuire really doesn't seem to be an option, but you'll always have it as an option. Everybody's afraid of failing, it's easy to fail, but it's harder to pick up where you left out. I guess what a person would really hate feeling would be to finish your life knowing you didn't say what you wanted to say throughout your life. Does eventually everything we'd work so hard for, with the false hope of optimism all become a blur eventually?