Disassembling the last few months.


       I'm not fond of always being the one bringing the white elephant up in the room, but it looks like I've nearly run out of time. The goals and aspirations I've had have way back have started breathing down my back. I'm not looking forward anymore, I'm looking straight in front of me.

      From college admissions, my health, and people. Hasn't been particularly the easiest 3 months. I learned too early in my life how easy it is to fall off your bike and get a scraped knee. I learned too early not to hold high hopes and expectations, because it'll make the descent from happiness a tad less of a bother. As a result, I never had much goals. I didn't want goals because I didn't want to fail. I did not want to realize that I gave it mybest and failed. So I avoided trying all together. Simply because I never wanted to know .

      But really, when it comes down to it, everything is  a mind game. I used to be told, "If you believe you can do it, you will." It's a corny statement that I laughed at and scoffed at often, but it's true. It's a battle of will off who wants it more. Do you want to succeed? You didn't? Then your resolve wasn't great enough. Try again.
 
      I just wish sometimes there would be someone there that would just pull me out of my head and maybe do something stupid and awesome with me. Or just someone who can make the most mundane things seem so fascinating and willing to step out of the boundaries.
      But wishful thinking will remain wishful thinking.






         They say ignorance is bliss. They mean it.