Don't fucking play Skyrim
Don't fucking play Skyrim
Don't fucking play Skyrim
Don't fucking play Skyrim
Don't fucking play Skyrim
Don't fucking play Skyrim
Don't fucking play Skyrim
Don't fucking play Skyrim
Don't fucking play Skyrim
Don't fucking play Skyrim
Don't get addicted to Skyrim
Don't get addicted to Skyrim
Don't get addicted to Skyrim
Don't get addicted to Skyrim
Don't get addicted to Skyrim
Don't get addicted to Skyrim
Don't get addicted to Skyrim

Despite the American trend to only be seemingly thankful/philanthropic on majors holidays (Thanksgiving/Christmas), it seems that most people are more vocally appreciative the last Thursday of November. As for me, I'm thankful every day. It may not be apparent, but it's there.

but to fit with the mood and atmosphere of turkey day... I'm thankful for all the friends and family that I have. They know who they are. From the most hilarious of times and to the most somber of times, they are there. My life would just be mundane and pointless without all the people I've come to know and appreciate.

And so

     I finally sent in my CSU applications. Of course, I do not wholly mean this, but being poor is pretty fucking awesome. You are definitely subsidized to go to school. However, I can't say the same for the middle class, which receives nothing but shit.
applied to... CSU Long Beach
                   Cal Poly Pomona
                   Cal Poly San Luis Obispo
                   CSU Fullerton.

       Simply milking the waivers. Besides, in the unfortunate scenario that I am rejected to the 4 UCs I'm applying for (hopefully not) then I'll have some schools to consider for a 4 year.




And now to finish my personal statements and put a rest to this madness. I must send in my UC apps before the 23rd.

Unfortunately, my computer had to break down a week before my UC applications were. Unfortunately, most of my rough drafts were saved into that computer. Unfortunately, I will most likely lose all my data. Fortunately, I had printed a copy of my most recent drafts before my computer failed.


I'm not exactly sure if I should be happy that I was lucky that I had printed my drafts out, or be unhappy that my computer hard drive just gave out on me and I skinned through the teeth.

 In any case, I'm grateful that all is not lost. 1 more week!

         To be completely honest, there's just been a total disconnection of my states of mind, spirit and body as of late. 3 parts that should work in riveting harmony are now far from unison. I've tried to stay mentally alert, physically fit, and emotionally sound for the longest. And whenever one part of me goes off, that's okay. The two parts of me will somehow, and willingly force the third one back to equilibrium. But everything is just so off as of late. It's unusual for me to be like this.
         Nowadays, even if all 3 of my states should align, one little shock will  throw everything into chaos and confusion--leaving me in paranoia. I can't stand the night or being alone. I can't stand being engulfed in my thoughts. I'm a prisoner of my own damn thoughts. They creep up on me and just devour whatever composure have.

But I'm trying to keep the boat a float. 

 just an idiotic person with endlessly high hopes and expectations that i cannot fucking fulfill.

Currently, life is a trainwreck.

Cynicism and truth are directly related.