Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
I have not done anything related to AP Lit Summer reading...nor do I even have the book. There you have it..the words of the most irresponsible guy in the world. Spending most of my days shooting hoops or reading, There's more I could do but.. I find a suitable balance. A physical and mental balance... More like I discovered Lord of the Rings and I can't reading it cause it's so epic...
One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them
one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
y u so epic lord of the rings??
One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them
one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
y u so epic lord of the rings??
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Penmanship
There are those nights in solitude that I find most painstaking. I am a prisoner of my own mind. I'm constantly forced to relive experiences in my head, pondering what if I had done that or this. It is against my own personal philosophy to dwell on past occurrences, mistakes, or events. However, when there is no one to talk to, when I hear nothing but British bands playing on iTunes, and when I know the sun has already set, I can't help but let loose my mind.
Those are the irritable nights, when I'm not occupied, I'll pick at things. For example, my denial of my ending childhood. The thing I enjoyed most was the sheer innocence of childhood. Being a tourist to a completely new place and world, everything feels mundane now. It's seen that, been there, done that.
Growing up calls for realization in the perspective of life, no longer do simple wounds and cuts scab over easily and disappear. Every thing I decide will leave lasting impression--whether it is in the form of something beautiful or a horrendous scar (which I have plenty of)--and that is the part of the game. You can't quit.
I try to remind myself every day that life is not ideal. I do not expect the best, nor the worst. I don't expect perfect scenarios of course, I try to keep the 'expectations' film rolling in the back of my mind, not to be watched. I try to focus on the 'reality' film roll. But seriously, it is very tempting to watch the reel of film labeled "Expectations" and a complete stab in the eye to discard of it.
To be honest really, I want to be consciously awake. Though writing should be completely expressive;I'm subconsciously hindered by mental filters. My mind edits the ideas I try to say and dilutes it with water. This post is diluted. They're my ideas and thoughts that are trying to leave my head, but they don't seem to come out in a full form, they're fragmented, bits and pieces of glass on the floor. I pick two glass shards up but I realize they don't fit. I don't want to say something that shouldn't be said, but I should say all that needs to be said. But I don't want to try attaching 2 in congruent glass pieces. All in all, a mental filter can work both ways for you.
I think I can say the most satisfying thing as a person for me is to inspire someone. Whether in the form of shoddy writing, the wires of my guitar bending, or just through my own actions, then I can validate myself that I didn't waste so much time dillydally and twiddling my thumbs as life carries on.
At the end of the day, I want to reaffirm myself that I left nothing on the table, I took my keys, wallet, phone. I left nothing on the table. No excuses, I had nothing left, no regrets.
Ideas are contagious, I know that much, they travel quickly and plant themselves in minds (very much like Inception har har) who knows what I'll say that'll be a muse for others.
Those are the irritable nights, when I'm not occupied, I'll pick at things. For example, my denial of my ending childhood. The thing I enjoyed most was the sheer innocence of childhood. Being a tourist to a completely new place and world, everything feels mundane now. It's seen that, been there, done that.
Growing up calls for realization in the perspective of life, no longer do simple wounds and cuts scab over easily and disappear. Every thing I decide will leave lasting impression--whether it is in the form of something beautiful or a horrendous scar (which I have plenty of)--and that is the part of the game. You can't quit.
I try to remind myself every day that life is not ideal. I do not expect the best, nor the worst. I don't expect perfect scenarios of course, I try to keep the 'expectations' film rolling in the back of my mind, not to be watched. I try to focus on the 'reality' film roll. But seriously, it is very tempting to watch the reel of film labeled "Expectations" and a complete stab in the eye to discard of it.
To be honest really, I want to be consciously awake. Though writing should be completely expressive;I'm subconsciously hindered by mental filters. My mind edits the ideas I try to say and dilutes it with water. This post is diluted. They're my ideas and thoughts that are trying to leave my head, but they don't seem to come out in a full form, they're fragmented, bits and pieces of glass on the floor. I pick two glass shards up but I realize they don't fit. I don't want to say something that shouldn't be said, but I should say all that needs to be said. But I don't want to try attaching 2 in congruent glass pieces. All in all, a mental filter can work both ways for you.
I think I can say the most satisfying thing as a person for me is to inspire someone. Whether in the form of shoddy writing, the wires of my guitar bending, or just through my own actions, then I can validate myself that I didn't waste so much time dillydally and twiddling my thumbs as life carries on.
At the end of the day, I want to reaffirm myself that I left nothing on the table, I took my keys, wallet, phone. I left nothing on the table. No excuses, I had nothing left, no regrets.
Ideas are contagious, I know that much, they travel quickly and plant themselves in minds (very much like Inception har har) who knows what I'll say that'll be a muse for others.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
~_~
The other day I was doodling on my guitar and the strap was not fit snugly as I would want it to be. It loosened up by itself while I was standing and the half of the guitar hit the desk =( quite loudly.. Metaphysically speaking, I hit the desk as well when my guitar hit the desk. I check the aftermath to find a scratch on the body, and the black paint chipped off. Oh my god, so disturbing when it happened as I felt like it was me.
And now it is officially not in mint condition.
And now it is officially not in mint condition.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I personally believe Pixar has one of the most freshest and original movies in their arsenal. Every movie--despite being animated-- present some sort of darker, deeper meaning than what the surface presents. Up was a brilliant movie, Wall-E and of course Toy Story 3. I think all of them deal with life questions everyone faces from time to time, and I think it's great not to make over the top sentimental, happy-ending movies that are completely unrealistic and fuel nothing but high expectations, but keep a hopeful tone.
One of the most brilliant movie-producing companys, I give kudos to Pixar.
mike wazowski!
One of the most brilliant movie-producing companys, I give kudos to Pixar.
mike wazowski!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
fitter happier
more productive
comfortable
not drinking too much
regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week)
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
at ease
eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
a patient better driver
a safer car (baby smiling in back seat)
sleeping well (no bad dreams)
no paranoia
careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
favours for favours
fond but not in love
charity standing orders
on sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
car wash (also on sundays)
no longer afraid of the dark
or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
nothing so childish
at a better pace
slower and more calculated
no chance of escape
now self-employed
concerned (but powerless)
an empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism)
will not cry in public
less chance of illness
tires that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat)
a good memory
still cries at a good film
still kisses with saliva
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick
that's driven into
frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness)
calm
fitter, healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics
the most disturbing song i've ever heard.
comfortable
not drinking too much
regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week)
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
at ease
eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
a patient better driver
a safer car (baby smiling in back seat)
sleeping well (no bad dreams)
no paranoia
careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
favours for favours
fond but not in love
charity standing orders
on sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
car wash (also on sundays)
no longer afraid of the dark
or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
nothing so childish
at a better pace
slower and more calculated
no chance of escape
now self-employed
concerned (but powerless)
an empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism)
will not cry in public
less chance of illness
tires that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat)
a good memory
still cries at a good film
still kisses with saliva
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick
that's driven into
frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness)
calm
fitter, healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics
the most disturbing song i've ever heard.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
and to you, if you have stuck with Harry until the very end
I've been rewatching all the Harry Potter movies lately.
As I post this, I have just finished Chamber of Secrets. Not to be too sentimental, but I guess I do associate Harry Potter with my childhood. The release of the books, the always upcoming movies that follow the books. It was just a thing you heard all your life and now you know that after this, there will be no more. I would read the books, but I don't think I can cram all the 7 books before June 15th. This is a hurrah, a little alcohol for my brain (wizardry)
And so it looks like after all, the stubborn boy who thought Harry Potter was stupid and nerdy but decided to give it a read that day in the library in 6th grade was not mistaken.
As I post this, I have just finished Chamber of Secrets. Not to be too sentimental, but I guess I do associate Harry Potter with my childhood. The release of the books, the always upcoming movies that follow the books. It was just a thing you heard all your life and now you know that after this, there will be no more. I would read the books, but I don't think I can cram all the 7 books before June 15th. This is a hurrah, a little alcohol for my brain (wizardry)
And so it looks like after all, the stubborn boy who thought Harry Potter was stupid and nerdy but decided to give it a read that day in the library in 6th grade was not mistaken.
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